And The Lie Was......

Here's the answers to Liar, Liar...Pants on Fire!,
my post from the other day.

If you haven't been here in several days or more
and want to check the original posting,
STOP...and go -->here<-- first.


* * * * *


Here's the answers:


I once got a great deal on a new car
because the salesman said
I resembled his deceased son.
The car I wanted to buy was a Ford Mustang GT.
and it was June 1985.
I went to the nearest Ford dealer
and the salesman who waited on me
was unusually quiet the whole time.
They didn't have exactly the kind of Mustang
I was looking for,
so I had them order one for me.
It came in 8 weeks
and as I was finishing up the paperwork,
the salesman said I looked so much like his son who
"passed away ____ years ago"
that he couldn't believe it.
At one point I saw tears in his eyes.
I really don't think it was an act
because in the end,
I got the car for just over dealer's cost.
Then again, if he was telling the truth
maybe he would've bought the car for me.

Naw.

True story.

* * * * *

I'm a high school dropout.
In high school, I never felt at all like I fit in.
Each day, I always felt like a visitor to an alien planet.
There were the sports jocks,
there were the kids into drugs,
there were the brainy nerdy kids,
and there was me.
Well, actually...
I think I was one of about 2% of the kids in my class.
And I'm not even sure about that,
because since they also felt like they didn't fit in,
they were quiet, too.
Since I never got to know those kids,
I had very few friends in school,
none whom I went to visit after school hours.
So, my unhappiness led to worse and worse grades
as high school went on.
Strangely enough,
I've always been invited to class reunions.
I think it's because I quit early in my senior year
and my senior photo was in the yearbook.
Or maybe they just felt sorry for me
and never said anything about it.
But I've had tons more fun at each class reunion
than I ever had at any time in school.
The last reunion was organized by, well...
a loser (for lack of a better word) like myself.
He did a wonderful job
and I hope he organizes the next one in 2007.
If he was indeed a loser, he's a winner now.
A very nice guy who has a great job, and very outgoing.
It's strange how all the popular guys in school
are all so quiet at the reunions.
I did get my equivalency diploma (GED) eventually.
I was sure I'd need it for a promotion at work
as it was required for a posting for a similar position.
Turned out it wasn't needed.
Some co-workers thought the promotion
was tailor-make for me.
They weren't angry, they just thought it was strange.
So afterwards
- like Archie Bunker, when he got his -
I thought...
"And here I am, stuck with a diploma."

Another true story.

* * * * *

I write right-handed.
Everything else I do is left-handed.
Probably the first thing I learned to do
with a specific hand...was write.
Everything else came later.
My oldest brother taught me how to shoot a gun
and since he was left-handed...well, you know.
That's how he taught me.
And the first time I picked up a wet-mop and used it,
someone told me I was doing it left-handed.
I can't begin to remember
if someone taught me to do it that way,
it just happened.
And I never tried to change, because
(and maybe this is silly)
I always felt if I do some things right-handed
and some things left-handed,
I'll end up using a bigger part of my brain
and I figure keeping my brain active this way
is good for me.
When I was young,
I also figured it'd keep me
from building up muscles
more in one part of my body than the other.
LOL!!!

Again, a true story.

* * * * *

I've eaten food
from a lunch trash can at work.
Once at work
the kitchen made something really good
(I think it was some kind of tuna casserole)
and the portion they gave me wasn't very big.
They put each portion in a foam bowl
and put them on foam trays for the students.
After lunch (and after the cooks had left)
there were a couple of extras
the cooks had thrown away
and they were right on top of their trash barrel.
I was 99% sure there was nothing wrong with them,
fished one out, ate it and it was fine.

True.

* * * * *

I always throw out
the last swig of pop or beer I drink
from a bottle or can.
It's backwash.
I never let the drink from my mouth
go back into the container.
Never.
Like Patricia said, it sounds so yucky.
But I do know many people (all guys)
who say they do this for this reason.
And it disgusts me no end.
More than eating out of a trash barrel.
When I clean up litter outside my school
I sometimes come across a drink container
with some of the drink still inside
and this crosses my mind.
And it grosses me out.

This - #1 - was the clinker. The lie.

Wow, there were only four of you
but I had all of you fooled!
I must be getting better at this.
Or at least this time, I didn't tip my hand.

That was fun.
I hope all of you had fun, too.